Bittersweet...

This post originally started out as my Relay for Life post, but I didn't get it done in a timely manner and here we are on June 28th.  I know that date may not be that significant to most, but it is kind of significant to me.  It was two months ago today that I lost my mom.  Wow, two months have past!  I know that living four and a half hours away we didn't see each other often, but now when I want to see her or just talk to her, I can't.  We didn't always see eye-to-eye, but I miss her.  When I was driving back and forth from Keizer to Portland I would always call her just to chat and it didn't hit me how much I would miss that until one day I was walking to school to get Lizzie and I went to call her, but I couldn't.

Mom,

Dylan is 3 now and is as stubborn as ever.  But we are getting close to getting that boy potty trained!!!  Lizzie just finished 1st grade and you would be SO proud of her.  She is a bookworm!!  I've gone through a couple of "firsts" - Mother's Day, Father's Day and soon one of your holidays, the 4th of July.  For Father's Day I went to visit Dad and they had the 60th All-American race.  I know you would have teased me because I was one of the oldest ones walking in the "Past Champs" parade.  Your presence was felt though.  It's just the little things.  Like the labels on the files for the registration forms or missing your organization skills for the banquet.  Dad is doing good.  I check in with him almost on a daily basis.

Saturday, June 4th - Sunday, June 5th Arlington had their second annual Relay for Life and team "Signs for Change" was a part of it.  It was a tough one, personally, this year because my reason to relay was not physically there, but I know you were there in spirit.  I also like to think that you had a hand in the beautiful weather we had both days. 

Several months ago you asked me if I would still do the relay if you were not around and I told you I would, it wouldn't be easy, but I would do it.  When you passed away I took that promise to heart.  I knew it wasn't going to be easy, but I did it.  I knew I would have a great group of people around me, so that helped.  I was also happy to have dad with me.  I didn't know if he was "up" for it yet, but he was a trooper. 

It was a beautiful day and Lizzie was my sidekick all day.  She was ready and willing to do whatever.  She was stuck to my side.  She walked 6 miles in those two days!!!  She often talks about you, especially if she sees something that is purple.  She will say "that is Amma's favorite color".  It's sweet. 

Someone once told me that eagles are a sign of a spirit of a loved one we have lost.  Well, I guess I picked the right place to live because we have a lot of eagles up here.  I have seen several eagles lately, some flying alone and sometimes with a "sidekick".  Everytime I see one I think of you and if there is a "sidekick" then I like to think that Christa is hanging out with you too. 

I miss you and love you tons!!  I'm posting some pictures from the Relay below.

Jen

Here we all are in our Beaver gear for the sports theme lap!!

Lizzie at opening ceremonies

Lizzie and me at opening ceremonies

The stands during the luminaria ceremony

The luminaria bags all lit up

The bag Lizzie made for you

The plate I received for raising $1000+ individually

Team Signs for Change